What to do if your parents are divorcing
Know that it's not your fault If your parents are getting divorced, it's because of issues between the two of them, not because of anything you did. Most of the the time, parents choose to get divorced because they fight with each other, because their feelings about one another have changed, or because of a serious issue in the relationship, like infidelity or substance abuse. There's no reason for you to feel guilty at all! * You may be even more likely to blame yourself for the divorce if your parents get you involved in their conflicts or if they seem to hold it against you for caring about the other parent. No matter what they say or do, it is important to remember that you did not initiate these conflicts and that you have the right to love both of your parents. ** If your parents ever say something to make you feel like the divorce is your fault, talk to them about it. They may have not really meant what they said at all. Try to keep in mind that this is a stressful time for your parents and they are not perfect. Accept your feeligs as normal No two kids feel exactly the same way about their parents' divorce. You might be confused, angry, sad, or even glad, if your parents fought a lot. No matter how you are feeling, it's important to validate your emotions. There's no reason to feel guilty about how you are feeling. T'alk to friends and family members.' Don't forget that your friends and family members are there for you during this difficult time. Reach out to people who you are close to for support. You may even know people who have been through a similar situation. * You may not want to talk to all of your friends about your parents' divorce. Choose one or two close confidants who will understand your situation and be compassionate. Chances are some of your friends have also dealt with a divorce Don't be afraid to talk to your parents. Talking to your parents about the effect that their divorce is having on you can make a big difference. Remember, if they don't know what you think or how you feel, they can't help you cope with those thoughts and emotions.5 Other ways # Seek professional help. Even if you don't have any friends or family members who you can talk to about your parents' divorce, you don't need to deal with your emotions by yourself! There are many resources available to adolescents who need some help getting through this tough stage. # Find new ways of dealing with stress. Your parents' divorce may have created more stress in your life than you've ever had to deal with before. If so, you may not be well-equipped to handle that stress, so it's important to look for ways to cope. Everyone is different, but most people are able to find enjoyable hobbies that help them get through tough times. # Adapt to a new home and/or school. In some cases, a divorce may mean that you need to move to a new home, maybe even in a new school district. This can seem catastrophic for many young people, but it doesn't have to be the end of the world. # Figure out how you can include both parents in your life. #* #* *